Perseverance is not the same as pressing the gas pedal to the floor, and resilience is not the battle between your brain and your foot that urges you not to let up on the gas.
Perseverance is a willingness to develop resilience.
Resilience means choosing a growth mindset — actively looking for growth opportunities. Sometimes opportunities for growth are hard to find. Other times, they stare us in the face but are hard to accept.
The bigger the hard-to-swallow-pill, the more likely that you should. Resilience depends on persistent perseverance.
So, how do you practice skills that lead to resilience?
- Radical acceptance
- Humble accountability
- A desire to improve
I can only move forward based on what is true in this moment and my recognition of that truth. I can only change that which I have control over. I will look for the pieces of the situation that I can act on and I will strive to understand how I can act on them.
Sometimes resting feels like failure. Why can’t I stop to rest before continuing on to the finish line? I can. I will. Other times, I’m going to fail. Yup, I know… not fun. But it means I get to try again. What can I do differently? (See above on looking for what I can control).
Looking for what I can control, and for what I can do differently when I’ve failed, means that I will need to adapt. My situation is going to look different than I thought it would. It just is. My expectations of what will happen are not guaranteed. I will need to be ok with the new elements of my equation.
I was wrong. There are ways that I contributed to where I currently find myself. I’m willing to look at them so I can learn what I don’t know or learn what I executed incorrectly. I’m not perfect, I won’t be perfect, I don’t expect others to be perfect.
A desire to improve.
I want to get better. I’m willing to try and I am willing to fail. I can rest. I can seek to understand. I can try again. I’m prepared to use the skills that I already have to enhance them and to develop new ones.
The byproduct of discipline is routine. You are that which you consistently do. Routines bear fruit. Does your routine account for rest?
Resilience works better when accompanied by empathy. The way we talk to ourselves sets the foundation of our framework. Coach yourself. Cheer for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Intervene in your negative thought cycles with some positive self-talk. See what happens.
If you, like me, need the reminder — rest; don’t quit.